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New School Year... New School Solutions?

8/29/2019

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My inbox is absolutely flooded with directives encouraging parents to get into the school immediately (in some cases before school begins) to have supports put in place to ensure your child has a successful and rewarding school year. While this may seem proactive it does not serve your child’s best interests.

Do not misunderstand me. It is important to voice your concerns about your child’s progress academically, socially and behaviorally early in the year, no later than mid-first quarter. However, meeting with the current teacher before they have had time to work with your child does not move the constructive, intervention/evaluation process along. 

Do let the new teacher work with your child. You may find that behaviors that were a problem are no longer present as an issue. Even academic concerns can significantly diminish.  At the same time, this year’s teacher should be able to add perspective to what they are seeing now. 

Allow the teachers to get to know your child as they are in their classroom. When you do meet with them, the give and take of the meeting will give you insight into how your child is functioning now and what has to be addressed beyond best practice in the classroom.  

One last bit of advice. Whenever you ask for a meeting, please do so in writing and give a brief outline of what you want to discuss. This ensures that not only is there a record of your request but also has the right people at the table.
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Creating Rules that Work... for Everyone!

8/26/2019

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In my last post, I talked about the difference between Guidelines and Rules. Guidelines paint the larger picture.  In essence how we want to be thought of. Rules tell us exactly what and what not to do in specific terms. 

Parents and teachers often use guidelines instead of directing behavior. “Be nice to your little sister” does not provide the specifics of behavior that a parent wants in the moment. “Do not pull on her arms” is clear and direct. ‘Put your dirty dishes in the sink/dishwasher” is more direct than clean up after you eat. Likewise, ‘Be kind to your classmates’ is not as clear as ‘When someone is speaking you need to be quiet and listen.’

The guidelines we would like our families and classrooms to live by should be given as much consideration as we give to where we want to go on vacation or how we want our classroom to physically look. Families and classes will both benefit when the important work of establishing how we ‘live’ together is a priority.

Establishing family and classroom guidelines, such as generosity, patience, understanding, responsibility , etc. allows for the establishment of important rules. The more we can involve all parties (adults and children) in the process the better our outcomes.

Deciding that as a family we will be generous is terrific. What makes this a strong commitment and paints the picture of generosity is the discussion of the why and what generosity will look like. As a family, we are generous because we have a lot to share or because people have been very generous to us.

When you establish the why with the group, you create the opportunity to continue to grow and expand behaviors that demonstrate the expectations as your family or classroom matures.

Teachers have an even bigger challenge and obligation to have these setting conversations with their classes. Classroom ‘rules’ that are presented as guidelines are not specific enough for children to follow. Each child brings with them a unique frame of reference from their own homes. How a child interprets the guideline of responsibility is a reflection of their home life. We can not assume the statements: Be Kind, Be Respectful, Be Responsible, Be Careful look, sound or feel the same to all of our students.

Linking classroom expectations and rules to academic and social success reinforce school behavior while not bringing it into conflict with home rules. We show kindness by waiting our turn to answer so that everyone gets the opportunity to tell us what they have learned or need in order to learn. It is what we do here to help everyone to be successful. 

Taking the time to establish guidelines and rules together supports the belief that what we do and how we do it is a good thing for everyone. Take that time.

Have a question about establishing expectations and rules? Reach out today!

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The Difference Between Guidelines and Rules

8/22/2019

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Do you have guidelines in place in your home and/or classroom and wonder why the children are not able to follow them?

Do you know the difference between guidelines and rules? Often times we expect our children to follow guidelines: Be Kind, Be Helpful, Be Respectful, Be Responsible.

Guidelines are difficult to follow because they do not tell us what to do.  


Guidelines create a framework for behavior but do not bring a specific behavior to mind! They are not universally translated in the same way.

Guidelines are Umbrellas of Behavior - many things fit under the umbrella.

Use this driving analogy...

Guideline = Drive Carefully
Rule = Speed Limit 45


Rules are clearly stated actions that fit under the Guidelines. 

The Guideline of Be Kind can be followed by the Rules of: 
  • Say please and thank you
  • Wait your turn
  • Do not laugh when someone trips or falls
  • Do not laugh or make a negative comment when someone makes a mistake
  • Only call people by their name

From the above example you can see that Kind can be shown in a lot of very specific ways. In the next posting we will discuss how to come up with the rules that support the guidelines.

Have a question? Reach out today - it's the best day to chart a new course.

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The End of Summer... Bummer!

8/15/2019

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Yup, the end of summer in quickly approaching and with that brings the anticipation and often dread of the new school year - for both children and their parents! 

I could give you the usual list, and have at some point in the past, of things to do Now to get ready for When - but this year is going to be a bit different.

This year I am encouraging you to face the new school year challenge in a completely different, personal and fun way.  Make a game out of each chore, responsibility and challenge you and your children have to accomplish to get ready for school.

The game can be a self challenge - yesterday it took 3 min to make the bed - let’s see how quickly it can get done today?

The game can be parent vs child, child vs clock or (if you are really brave sibling vs sibling)!
Everything can become a game - get creative -  folding laundry, setting the table, trying on last year's clothes. You name it, it can be Gamified. Make your own chart to track success or if you are creative a game board. There are even apps for this.
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With a homemade chart, keep track and give out awards. Not a fan of awards for ‘chores’? Award points, convert points to time doing something with the kids which is the very best reward for everyone. It does not have to be expensive - game night, family movie night, family bike ride, story time, etc.

Keep it going during the school year. Gamifying homework works wonders toward earning time for fun activities. Move from nag to game master! You will be glad you did.
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    Kathi is a retired educator who is passionate about helping children succeed in school and in life.

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Photos used under Creative Commons from US Department of Education, ironmancurling
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