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Don't Say That - Say This

2/5/2020

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The next time you are at an IEP/504 meeting or any conference at school, you would be wise to watch how you say things. How you ask for something or respond to something that is said by a staff member can radically change what happens for your child.

I know you aren’t going to do anything (anyway, about this, etc.).

I hear this in one form or another, more often than I can say. 
As a parent you need to expect the school to address your concerns for your child. Saying ‘I know you won’t do anything………….’ comes from frustration or fear and it opens the door to that exact response.

When the concern is new, state your need to have the school address it now in a brief statement with no excuses. Something like: ‘Every day when Kathi comes home from school she tries to do the math homework and does not know how to solve the problems. What is going on in class?’ Then listen. 
Ask follow up questions with the expectation of something new being done to help your child.

Listen to the answer and continue to ask questions.

For problems that have persisted over time say something like this. ‘In the past I (we) have tried to have this addressed however nothing has (been done, been included, been successful, etc.) up until now. We need to revisit this concern again and come up with a plan of action.’ 


This approach tells the school you consider this an ongoing concern, you are serious about getting assistance for your child in this area, and you expect the school to work with you and address this challenge for your child. Remember, what YOU say goes a long way towards what ends up being done to support your child. 

Have a concern? Ask a growth minded question? Reach out today. 
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    Kathi is a retired educator who is passionate about helping children succeed in school and in life.

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